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Mitnick's Soliloquy

Intruder, or not Intruder: that is the question:

Whether 'tis more likely the system suffers

The misuses and malfeasances of outrageous crackers

Or that some user behaves anomalously

And, by so doing, causes false alarms. To alert, to audit;

No more; and by an audit to say we find the attack,

And the thousand failed login attempts

That are seen on the network, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be decrypted. To alert, to audit.

To audit, perchance to detect, ay, there's the bug.

For in that detection of attack what false alarms may come;

When we have dumped a million packets

Must give us pause, the analysis

That makes use of long CPU hours and many gigabytes

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time

The analysis by hand, the tired SSOs eyes sore,

The pangs of innocent users, the law's delay,

The insolence of phreaks, and the spurns

That patient merit of unworthy takes

When he himself might his quietus make

By a disconnected ethernet? who would fardles bear

To grunt and sweat under C2 standards

But that the dread of worm after worm

The undiscovered bug from whose bourn

No Vandal turns, puzzles the testers,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

That crash the system and erase the hard drive?

Thus intrusion detection makes abusers of us all,

And thus the native hue of normal use

Is sicklied over with the red light of intruder,

and jobs of great size and duration

With this regard their patterns out of normal parameters,

and lose the name of legal system policy.

After Hamlet's Soliloquy,

By JJ

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